My faith and understanding of God radically changed when I became a parent. Everything changed! I'm still undergoing change with my two, six, and eight year old children. Pre-parenthood I was a wonderful Christian. Daily disciplines of Bible Study, intercessory prayer, fasting, and "proclaiming the Gospel" assured me that I exemplified a worthy godly vessel.

When I became a mother – sleep deprived, always on duty, constantly nursing and hungry, overweight, and hormone laden – I felt like I was not serving God in a grandiose capacity. Struggling to read a Psalm over a hurried breakfast, knowing the power of prayer but choosing to zone out at the end of a long day in front of the television, I know my spiritual walk is lacking. My struggles are not against poverty and injustice, but rather my temper, my impatience, and my self-imposed busy schedule.

The paintings of Mother With Child and Mother With Child By Window are reflective of my years nursing. My third and last child is being weaned. This season of nursing babies is over. I mourn the loss deeply. The image of God as nursing mother, nurturing me, cradling me to God's breast, takes on new meaning – God as comforter, provider, and bosom. My feelings of love and empathy have grown beyond what I could have imagined, as well as my capacity for fear and anger. The paintings are self-portraits as well as the image of mothers everywhere struggling with joy and fear.

Erin McGee Ferrell

email: Erinmcgeeferrell10@msn.com

Mother And Child
Oil on masonite, 2004
4' x 3'

Mother And Child By Window
Oil on masonite, 2004
4' x 3'